Neztic's Humble Abode

Hi! I'm an introverted, socially paranoid guy with Autism (on the lower side, according to whom have told me, I don't know how that works) and ADHD. Both are self diagnosed, as in not verified by doctors (my parents do not trust doctors, I wish I could medicate my ADHD, I feel like I'm wasting my life away. I worry for my future). It's a long story. I may write a blog post explaining a lot of things as a first off.

I don't exactly feel comfortable mentioning my real name, for now at least. I'm 19 (I turned a bit before the creation of this site!)

I wouldn't say I have any distinct skills, I'm not really in the household to discover myself. Long story, again, so, overall I'd consider myself as a jack of all trades and master of none (some of it may be the ADHD that led me to that decision though, I just can never get myself to sit down really). Though, my writing is entirely self taught, so there's that!

I've lived under a rock for a long time, and also don't get out much which isn't up to me, but I wouldn't blame my parents over it, so there's not a lot i'm informed in or enjoy in that regard. Though the main things I find myself into currently are M.U.G.E.N. content creation, mainly the AI vs AI and betting site aspect (those comical edits mainly exclusive to betting sites really show you can do whatever you please with the engine), and modern (circa 2007-present quality) plush/certain stuffed objects collecting and research, I wouldn't say I had any preferences, but I generally get or look into whatever wows me. There's other things too, but I'd say they're just more of things I enjoy, those were my "full time" things.

I am a very inconsistent and disorganized person, please don't have set expectations.

I'm a very unsure person, and would rather stay out of most things that give expectation (latter is likely a personality effect as I've only found out about the two in recent months. Before, I was completely obvlivious, everything I thought was just me and I didn't question it. A lot of aspects of ADHD have shaped my personality in indirect ways like this, and I wish I could revert so much.) I'd like to give myself one reputation, or another or none at all. I worry all the time about things like that and am never keen. For instance, I think about giving myself a representation or sona as i've recieved my dad's looks. I get a beard, mustache, and am generally very hairy (that gets to a point where I take a photo of say, my hand, it makes me look like this weird pervert guy. I consider one day somehow permanently removing (at least) the majority of my hair). When I allow my beard to grow out, I look middle aged, but when I shave, I look almost elderly depending on the angle. And at the same time, I like not having a representation at all, also tainted by the fact that I'm worried about past friends ridiculing my choices. It's just things that constantly fight in my head. Only time will tell I guess.

Sigh... this has felt so strange to write... I've been involved with some really dumb drama linked to a not so understanding community in which, figuratively, I was stomped on for about three and a quarter (referring to present year), until I finally gained sense and left this year. I was mainly in my own little bubble before, immature, I matured very late. I was a people pleaser then and still am in real life, I do my own thing in private, but get nervous and want everyone else to think i'm "normal" when they're around. A lot of this is why I was so socially isolated. Enough rambling, anyways, i'm hoping I can turn this all around with a fresh start and find stable ground (I'm so nervous about the process, anything I had before was luck I think), with no links to the past. I'll probably go more into detail about this and other aspect in a blog post.

Other places I can be found: